Allison Goh - NewLife Shah Alam

Dear God, the 5 days camp had been totally awesome. Your presence was really strong upon me especially during the last few days. Nothing could ever be compared with it. I felt that You really wanted to speak to me regarding being real especially in the presence of Your people. As the Spirit moved so strongly within my heart, I was just reminded of that song ‘Stained Glass Masquerade’ be Casting Crowns. It said ‘why do we feel so small in the midst of so many strong ones? Are we happy plastic people? Why do we hide our pain with our smiles, hoping that no one sees the real us inside? Outside we seem alright, all in for God but deep down, where no one sees, we’re totally wiped out, crushed and destroyed.’

I don’t really recall the exact words but it went something like that. I believe Lord that this theme and this whole camp was particularly targeted at certain youth for some reason. I felt that You were reminding me once again of the Word by David Wilkerson a few months ago entitled ‘A Cry without a Voice’. It was targeted at the youth. He said that there are many who are lost, struggling and crying out but there’s no voice mainly because no one is there to hear it. They would tell it to no one because their issues are too shameful to be even told to their pastors or parents.

I personally felt that You Lord had brought these young people to this camp for this very reason that is so that they find You, the only one who will hear their cries when there’s no one else. I truly believe that the last night we had, many had found You. I thank You Lord for Your perfect timing and Your ultimate patience with us, always waiting for that one moment where You will meet with us, just because You desire to, not so much of meeting our needs.

I thank You Lord for Your grace and Your mercy, for bringing all sorts of people into my life during this camp just to teach me patience and self-control. You truly work in ways that we don’t understand and contradicts human common sense. I thank You Lord for all the small little mundane things You’ve done in my life in this short period of time.

Even that night when we sang the song ‘This is my desire’, I was reminded of the revelation You gave me some time ago. I was debating whether to go out to share because I wasn’t really prepared and I was afraid that the Word would be too strong for many but You assured me that You would be by my side and speak for me. You Lord has truly been awesome. You never promise a smooth journey but You promised that You’ll be with us every step and that’s the greatest promise ever. Lord, continue to work ever so deeply and forbid that I ever picked up what I’ve laid at Your feet. Grant me the strength Lord.

I also want to thank You for opening my eyes to see something so amazing when we visited the disabled (ESDA). Even though they are disabled, their endless joy surpasses the joy we have in us. Their joy is simply amazing. We, who are so complete in every way still complain and mumble our dissatisfaction with the way we’re created. I guess I know why You sent me to the disabled home rather than the orphanage which I so badly wanted to go. Once again You’ve proven Yourself real and Your ways never fail to amaze me everytime. I guess many times I just need to open my spiritual eyes to see You more instead of focusing on my issues.

I really have to say that throughout this whole camp, I learnt a whole lot even in little dull things in life. And again I am really amaze that You cause me to come back a week earlier just so I could attend this camp. Before I came back, I really wanted to delay my return from Perth to a week later simply because my accommodation wasn’t settled yet but there was just something in me that kept on convincing me to go for this camp. Back in Perth, I really wanted to share about ‘Giving our all to God’ but I prayed that You opened the door. And yes You did open that door during the last night. So truly Lord, I’m still in awe at how perfect Your timing and ways are. I’ve not regretted one bit of coming back earlier to make it to this camp. There’s just so much to thank You for and these few pages will never be enough. Thank you Lord from the depth of my heart, thank you for everything.